If I have the courage to stab myself, i would stab myself in the heart.
Because u make it hurt so badly that i dont want to feel it for another second.
You just promised me yesterday and now you change your mind again.
I hate myself u know that? I believed everything you said again and again even though u hurt me u lied to me again and again.
Fuck my life really.
U promised nothing is going to change again.
U promised you would not leave again.
U promised what she said will not turn out to be true, that you would prove her wrong.
U promised that we will TRY and work this out.
You are a liar. and I'm a fucking believer.
U really screwed me inside out u know that?
Do you have any idea how much fun how happy i was?
The things you said the way you cared the way you worry.
Even after coming back you kept ur promise.
You promise you would not change and u didnt.
But now just because of a stupid mistake, u changed.
You fucked up my life again.
I said a million times that im sorry.
And yet you just cant be bothered.
Do u know how worried i was? How frustrating it is?
U gave me all the assurance and because of a small mistake, you let it plunge down to zero.

I just want us to get back to how we were before what happened yesterday.
Stop hurting me

你很残忍
这 我得称赞你
你一次又一次让我相信你的谎言
你一次又一次把捧我上天堂 然后再把我打进谷底
你真的很厉害 I have to hand it to you

请看清楚 我是人 我是有心跳会流血会受伤的人 不是你的那条狗
我也有感觉 我的心不是石头或铁做的你懂吗
我感觉得到痛 那一种想要把心挖出来丢掉的痛

如果他从来没有打算要让我开心
为什么他不把我的所有带走
我宁可死 也不要再听到你的谎言 也不想再见到你

你真的伤我很深

There is a roller coaster in my tummy.
Save me!
Had too much chili for dinner.
And someone did not stop me in time.
Grr...

I wanna stop being the one who ruin ur day can I?

Joke of the year

It's only 14th of January of a brand new year
And i already heard the joke of the year.
Some 15 years old kid called me AUNTY in a party.
Tell me, how can it not be the joke of the year?

I laughed it off because I dont know what reaction was expected out of me.
But it doesnt mean i dont feel hurt at all.

I had fun this afternoon.
Everything is worth it.

不知道应该觉得开心吗

Are you really back?

睜開眼 空氣在沸騰轉變
我突然 多了好多的體會
如果說夢想 醒來一捏就粉碎
世界就只是一層安靜的灰

曾躲在 幾十億人海裡面
因為愛 才能擠撞到前面
我要的不多 就幾分鐘的時間
讓我大聲說出心裡的感謝

愛 是我的第一站
愛 給了我方向感
愛 寸步也沒離開
陪我從模糊的地帶
走到陽光正在打亮的舞台

被雨淋過的勇敢
被你給過的溫暖
全都在

愛 未來的第一站
愛 教我把夢拉開
愛 要我抬起頭看
天空中最微弱的星
也有權利爭取最美的燦爛

你给了我 方向

Could not recover.

Yesterday was an awful day.
Put hope that things will get better.
But it end up worse.
Hurt even more. Cried even badly.
I was furious when i got home.
I was mad at you. Mad at God.
That explains why so many four letter word in one sms.
Why did you guys left me alone licking my own wound?
Why did you lie to me when i trusted you?
I was so mad. If there is a line between hate and dont hate, I almost crossed it yesterday.
I thought everything would be different.
Who told me that say your prayers and God will answer them?
Who told me I matters alot?
Why did you show that you care when all you did was to push me aside and ignore me?
Your sms... dont know what it means. I just hope that it will be starting something new and good.

Hope, I put.

Still very exhausted

Slept almost three quarter of the day.
My body felt so soft.
My limbs felt they are all over the place.
Had fever and cough but it's alright now.
Who knew going for a 3 days 2 nights camp could bring so much pain? =(

But it's alright.
Aching limbs means I'm building muscles right? =)

你知道和我很舒服
你知道你可以告诉我你最贴身的秘密
我和你中间有个很模糊的线
为什么你不能尝试走过来呢？
请想一想吧

I miss you
Day 8