Oh well...

My mom went to taiwan yesterday. So until friday, my house will be having "party" till it collapse.
I'm actually kinda upset that i cant follow as well because taiwan is like the food and clothes place.
I fell in love with the original bubble tea when i first went to taiwan 2 years ago. Before that, when i drink bubble tea here, i normally drink the ones with flavor (honeydew etc etc). But when i went taiwan, there's only original bubble tea. So i kinda got hooked up and ended up spending 35 TWD (RM 3.50) on bubble tea and 60TWD (RM 6) on taiwan sausage everyday. Both had been a must for both of the trips to taiwan.

Finally holiday's here. But it's just for 1 week. Boo!

PS - I'm so bored here. Somebody please save me!!!

Missing you.

5 course meal

Uhm...just now i went to the Sunway restaurant for lunch.
This restaurant is managed by the hospitality course student.
Well, it was kinda a 5 star restaurant with all the shiny cutlery on the table...the orange napkin...the glasses...

The starter - Bread with cheese on top
The appetizer - something like seafood salad (got fish, squid and prawn)
Maincourse - Paprika chicken
Desert - Creme caramel (some really really sweet egg custard)
Lastly i had tea.

Well, in between,while waiting for the meal to be served, i drank hell lot of water because the speed of the students serving is quite slow. And i went to the restroom for like 2 times during the meal.
And my frens were like some jakuns. Tasting the milk that are mend for coffee and tea. And argue whether isit condensed milk or fresh milk. *shake head*

The set lunch cost about 18.50. The food is nice and i would say its worth eating. Since i drank so many cups of water isnt it?


PS - I walked out the restaurant with a satisfied stomach, a bladder full with water and a lighter wallet.

I'm still waiting to talk to you.

I'll be there.

I keep your heart with me.
I keep it in my heart.

You keep me, my heart, our memories and everything in the cupboard.


PS - I got 70+ for my account topic test. Lol...i expected better result! :(

PPS - i'll be there when you just need someone to bitch to.

Cheers!

I'm afraid

I'm afraid that you will go away again.

Please dont disappear again.

PS - R.I.P

I miss you.

I dont know what to do

Everytime you leave i was wondering are you with the other person
Everytime you're upset i was thinking are you now with that person and is that person comforting you
Everytime you leave i was afraid that you wont come back again
Everytime you are cold i was scared that you're gonna say the same words again
Everytime i close my eyes, the words that you said keeps playing in my head and it wont go away
Everytime i think about the things that you said, i cant say that i dont agree

PS - It really hurts to think what you said. It's hurting to think that that's what you think.

Everytime i close my eyes

When you dont tell me you love me.

When you tell me that you love me

I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do

I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see
Just what I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does
You walked into my life
To stop my tears
Everything's easy now
I have you here

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

In a world without you
I would always hunger
All I need is your love to make me stronger

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

You love me
When you tell me that you love me

PS - It's a nice song.

I'm loving you.

Exams... Exams... EXAMS!!!!

Full of exam this month.

Let's see... i finished applics last monday. This thursday got accounts topic test. This saturday got moral test. Next tuesday got calculus. LOL... i'm stressed up and yet im blogging here.



So everything is back to normal again. At least for now.
I hope it will last this time.


PS - I've never stop loving you.

I'm happy with you. XDXD

Just like car.

PS - Thanks for being there to let me embarass myself infront of you.

I broke down.

Crushed all over again.

It still came. But i promised i wont do anything stupid like laying a blade on my wrist whether or not I'm suicidal or purely needed to share the pain at the other parts of myself. I'm serious this time i hope you can give me some credit on that.
It hurts to think that when I'm missing you, you're missing someone else.
It hurts to think that when I'm crying over you, you're crying over someone else.
It hurts to think that no matter what i do, you wont bother anymore.
It hurts to think that things will be very different from now on.
It hurts to think that you wont be there anymore.
It hurts really.
You call me selfish you call me bitchy... Have you ever thought how would i feel?
Especially when you say those words?
Why do you have to be so honest? Why try to be honest now after so long?
You happy now? That you break my heart and yet you can stay as an honest person a good person?
I cant even focus on anything now.
To be honest to you, i really feel like dying.
I just dont care anymore.
It's best if i can leave without doing anything that you can blame me with. Terminal cancer, car accident, being hated so much that that person decided to stab me. LOL
Dont you worry, I just WONT do it again because i love you.
I dont know how to face you anymore. I hope you will come back. Please..

I just want the pain to go away.

You happy now?

You still care, dont you?

Though you've been sayin tht all the time and also warned me not to mention about it.

But, no matter what you still care.

Why? I really dont get it.

How could you possibly care for a person that hurt you? and constantly put a smile on your face.

Didnt you said you wont bother anymore? Didnt you say you wont think about it anymore?

I'm confused.

PS - I really hate it when i'm not able to make you feel panic.

I'm happy!!!

Remember, you promised me.

I'm glad that you'll promise me to forget that outing.

Remember... It was ur 2nd time being there with me yesterday.

That outing was just purely a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare that you dont wish to have anymore.

Argh!!!!

PS - I enjoyed yesterday. Thanks. I hope the sun did not burn through your slim, pretty legs. Haha...

I finished my roller coaster before sharing with you! Aww...

Liar!

Come on man...
Why do you have to create such a stupid lie?
Why not just admit it? Why make up lies to make people think that someone died?
You silly! You stupid! You're just damn freaking liar.

Liar liar

Pants on FIRE

You should have join the competition. You'll win it. Trust me!

PS - I can be meaner and colder if i want to. I can just walk away. 'Cause i dont give a damn about your feelings anymore. You're nobody, remember? Captain Obvious?

I dont give a damn! XDXD

You didnt have to make it so obvious.

Just when i thought you might need some help, you turned out to be a total bitch.

You make it so obvious that you're ignoring me. Arent you, Captain Obvious?

You just love to take people for granted. It didnt surprised me that you didnt fit in.
It's best for you if you can stand on your own feet now.

'Cause from now on, we're not good.

Its over! Something that happened and exist for more than a decade is over.

I couldnt sound more relieved than now.

You could go on pretending that i wasnt there.

It doesnt matter anymore to me.

I dont care! XDXD

I'm scared!!!

Applics exam later... and i'm kinda blank right now.
I got study i swear...
Just not going in my head...LOL

Having cold war at home.
I really hate you for being so bitchy and unfair.
You know how much i wish that i'm living on my own now.
Have a good life and dont need to depend on you.
You've no idea how much i hated you and will hate you!

Just dont like you

Just needed you

I'm sorry for being a child.

Thinking, acting and talking like one.

Insecurity is just eating me up bit by bit.

I wish i could read your mind. I wish i could know what are you thinking all the time.

Btw, i'm not crazy, ok? I dont have mental illness. Just unstable that's all.

PS - Just so to let you know, you may think i'm being stupid, i will be there if you neeeded me.

A bit like you.

For all the joy you brought to my life

I hope it will last.

I'm now blogging from college library.

What's the point of paying if i'm not going to use it isnt it?

Well, i just finished my accounts open book test. I think it's easy. But will the result be above 90 i'm not sure lar. Sorry if i disappoint you.

Like i said, i hope it last

"You can make my dreams come true"

Hope

PS - Thank you. I appreciate it.

you're my strength when i'm weak

you're my voice when i could not speak

you're my eyes when i could not see

Urgh...

How much worse can my day be with the most stupid net?
Keep on disconnect at this kind of time.
Disconnect when i need it most.


So what i did it?
You didnt care.
You dont seem to anyway.

I need help!

I made a fool out of myself

Today is just the second day and I’m already like a walking zombie. I’m under the weather now. I’m down with cough, flu, and sore throat. Next thing I will be having fever. Mom asked me to take medicine. She even put it right in front of me. I’m shocked actually because she hardly does that for me. But once she turns her back away from me, I stared at the pills. I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly I just grab the pills and throw it out of the window. At that point of time, my mind was totally blank. I just realize I didn’t want to get better. I just want to be too sick to not bother what’s happening out there. You may say I’m stupid. Say I’m silly. Say I’m out of my mind. But I just can’t help it.

Trust me when u say that statement, I felt hope. I felt a little happy. I was hoping you would continue but u didn’t. I guess u just realize that you said something that you don’t intend to say. I didn’t know what to do. I tried my best. But you’re just as cold as you seem.

To be honest, a quarter of me didn’t want to be there yesterday. I didn’t want to hear you say things that will hurt me deeper. But the remaining of me wants to be there for you. I know I should not have kept ranting everything about me. I know you’re equally upset and hurt as me. At that time, I was thinking if I wasn’t there, who would be there? Who would be there to comfort you? Who would be there to keep you accompanied and not to let u be lonely? Who would make a fool of themselves just to make u feel better? I really hope what I did yesterday at least make u feel a little better.

I was sitting in the bathroom with my clothes on thinking with the water flowing down me just now. When I walk out of the room, I was wet from head to toe. My parents thought that a pipe burst in the bathroom. That really makes my sis laugh her ass off. I thought of many things that happen in my life. I even remember the last time I did it. I looked for the scar but I can’t find it. It was so long ago that I even forget which wrist was it. The right? Or the left? I don’t remember anymore.




I can’t concentrate anymore. I’m losing all my focus. I’m losing myself.
I just needed it to distract me from the pain I’m having now. I’m sorry.

Oh god, what have I done to my life?


PS – For God’s sake, take good care of yourself.

不要你离开 距离隔不开

“I’ll be the shoulder when u cry.”

Aprilfool!

Today was really a rough and HEARTBREAKING day.

I skipped Maths class though I got topic test next Monday but whatever lar… my emotions was kind of unstable.

Uhm… where should I start? LoL

Well, I didn’t got tricked by anyone but I did receive bad news (and I wasn’t a prank apparently)

To the readers out there, please do not start a conversation with “I think we need to talk.”

Because everything followed by it is always, ALWAYS bad news. It makes people worry a lot even before you break the news to them.

I shouldn’t have teased my friend because it seems to backfire on me now. I wish I could tell u more clearly how sure I am about it. I do not need to lie down on my bed and think about it over and over again. But u didn’t seem to be listening or understand what I am saying because you were searching for an answer that I don’t have.

I wish you could realize how heartbroken I am now. It was easy for you to say “I must clam down, I must be strong.” The decision was made by you to relieve the burden on you.

放手？不放手？

我选择了不放手，继续那么执着

但是放不放已经不是由我决定了

我觉得心很痛

心… 好像被刀捅了许多次

流着很多血

您有办法救救我吗？

为什么是他?不是已经说好要放弃了吗？

You make me want to take my life away again.

You make me want to feel the cold, rusty blade cutting through my skin and get to the vein.

You make me feel helpless.

PS – If you wanted to be alone, you could have told me. Don’t lie to me.

“I’m not the one you think of anymore.”

您，开心了吗？